I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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