sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
