i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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