Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
