I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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