he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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