if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
