whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
