playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize