just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
