Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
