I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
