i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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