Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
