scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
