he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i out mim tonsoeep
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