I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
