Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
