Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
