Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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