People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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