yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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