i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
