Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
