he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
