You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We need a shit load of segways right now
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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