1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
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