Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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