So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
