I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
