We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
