next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
