i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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