I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
