belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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