I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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