So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
