Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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