Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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