Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
