Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
