i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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