so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
