We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
