I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
