This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
