That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
