oh god the rape fog is back!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
where am i from again
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
