I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize