I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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