How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize