entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
