Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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