'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
