and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize