I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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