It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
