You smell like stripper and shame
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Shame is for Republicans.
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