at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
