Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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