she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
