you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
